Making friends with TRUST
The year has started with a bang in some lives. For me; what I thought was going to be a cracking start to 2019, as all the signs were the colour green – for – go, everything, well the key things in my life went pete-tong! Even though it turned out that it was all going to be manageable and it is, it does beg the question about the word TRUST.
I like to TRUST, I really do! TRUST is a special emotion to feel, as in if you don’t TRUST what is left? When the TRUST has been repeatedly, well in my situation 3 times across a 4 - week period and into the new year I started thinking what has gone wrong? It wasn’t anyone’s fault at all, it was that people’s circumstances had changed and I had to change with them, and so I did. After the intitial 3 big changes of what is going on I decided there is nothing else for me to do but accept it and TRUST the process?!
As the process was taken out of my control, that’s when I realised you have to TRUST, that these unexpected changes have happened for a reason (s). When I did decide to TRUST I didn’t feel freaked out or discombobulated, I actually felt calm! By nature, I do not like many changes, but when they do occurr I am somewhat amazed at my adaptation abilities and how I TRUST myself to experience the process knowing that it will be alright in the end!
As a Life coach it gives me great opportunities to help clients with TRUST.
I would like to share my 10 Tips on Trust with you --
Don’t assume trust exists and always work hard to earn it. When we stop taking trust for granted and make it a priority, we will be conscious of our actions and the perceptions of those actions to our partners and associates.
KEEP YOUR PROMISES
It makes sense that we want to keep promises we make to people, but often the little things get overlooked. Make keeping your promises about little things as important as keeping your promises about the big things. Call if you are running late, if the promised documents are not ready on time notify the person. While these things may seem small, they go a long way towards building trust.
If an associate, a family member or a client have trusted you with a secret, do keep it! If people want to share the information with others they can, it is their story to tell!
COMMUNICATE OPENLY AND IN PERSON
Make it a rule that most communication, especially important subject matter, must happen in person. The true meaning of a message can get lost via text, email and sometimes even on the phone. Make sure you are both heard and understood by talking face to face.
You might not understand why something is important to someone else, but the fact that it is ‘important’ is all that matters. Before you can trust, you must respect each other and your differences without judgment.
Be real with your people and that means sharing things that you often keep hidden. The ultimate sign of trust is living your truth and by doing so your people will be more comfortable living theirs.
Trusting doesn’t mean mistakes won’t happen and when they do be forgiving. Holding on to past transgressions will only erode the trust in any relationship. We should feel the ability to make mistakes and so should our people, without it being a constant source of contention. Letting go of the hurt, accepting the apology and moving on builds a trust based on truth and respect.
WORK ON YOUR PERSONAL GROWTH
We are better people and better in our relationships when we take the time to work on our personal growth. It’s a focus on our personal growth that keeps relationships solid and the trust in each other growing.
It is important in any relationship to be supportive of other people. It is even more important to show that support when we are in a stage of building trust. If one person in the relationship doesn’t feel that they can take a risk, make mistakes or try new things without support, the relationship will falter.
DISAGREE IN PRIVATE
A public forum is never a place to voice a disagreement. If what your people say doesn’t sit well with you, discuss it out of the way of others. Often disagreeing in front of other people can shame or humiliate the other person. This kind of behaviour will damage your lines of communication and your trust. Formulating your thoughts in a respectful way tis key to encourage an honest and open discussion.
Building trust isn’t hard when you approach your relationship with resp
ect and understanding. The basic principle of trust is easy: do what you say you are going to do. Stay true to that and a trusting relationship will naturally begin to form.